Very Exclusive Gadgets & Gizmos

This Faux Security Panning Camera comes with a nice red flashing LED and motion sensor, and will swivel menacingly when it detects anyone in the vicinity. What it really needs of course is a disembodied voice booming out from a speaker to really scare the bits out of your visitors. “Intruder detected…terminate…” $59.95.

This Smoke Detector Alarm with Hidden Camera offers a fully working combo which the paranoid will find hard to resist. Not only can you keep watch for those nasty pyromaniacs, but also spy on your fellow workers at the same time. Win! Features a color camera with microphone, a shrill alarm smoke detector and some connector cables for hooking up to your TV or DVR. Oh and the Sony camera comes with night-vision capabilities. £38.42.

This Face Recognition Door Lock is perfect for sprucing up your home entry system before the holiday hordes arrive. Make sure you get full face photos from the mother-in-law and boozy Uncle Jack before they visit and you can have all kinds of fun barring entrance on the porch. Just make sure you’ve got the wife and kids in the database, otherwise things could get sticky. £280.57.

The Uniden UDW10003 is a wireless home security and visitor identification system. Stick the IR LED equipped camera outside and the 3.5″ VGA screen receiver inside and you’re all set. The IR lighting means you can see who’s there, even in the dark, it has a microphone and you can even pan, zoom and tilt the camera somehow. The camera detects people and switches on automatically and the camera can broadcast up to 130 metres over 2.4GHz. US$147.87 from Amazon.

I once worked at a place that required me to have an ID card. I had to swipe it just to prove that I had showed up to work, and I couldn’t even get through the front door without it. If I forgot my ID card, it was a big hassle to explain myself to human resources, not to mention the waiting for someone to open the door for me.

This is just one of the reasons why I don’t work for “the man”. I can just see “the man” of the future implementing mandatory Face Detecting Time Attendance System and Access Door Lock (CVJB-G107) at the workplace.

The Global Watchman is a remote area, autonomous surveillance unit that will keep watch on your holiday house and tell tales if anyone comes-a-knocking. It’s pitched as a long-distance, set-and-forget surveillance solution that will email you surveillance pictures via the GSM or CDMA phone networks. The rechargeable battery is good for 4-6 weeks and there’s an optional 42Ah battery as well.

This Digital Peephole Viewer is designed to fit into your existing optical peephole without any external cameras or wiring. Just remove your old, fish-eyed analogue peephole and install the futuristic digital peephole and in five minutes you’re done. To see who’s out there just press the button, press it again to zoom in. Needs 2 AA batteries and they’re good for about 1,700 views. They’re pretty new and they only seem to be available to buy in Australia at the moment, but give ‘em time. They’re priced around US$138.

The BlueWatchDog Personal Anti-Theft Alarm is another of those virtual perimeter devices which sounds an alarm if your chosen item is moved too far away from your body. What makes this Swiss product different, however, is the fact that it alerts you via your mobile phone.

Want to know what’s going on behind the scenes with your desktop at work whenever you leave the office? The Spy Keylogger ought to come in handy, featuring 2MB of internal memory to store all the keystrokes made whenever you’re not around. Of course, it works with most wired keyboards, so those who are using wireless keyboards will be able to get away scot free.

The Flower Pot Safe is a nifty hiding place for valuables. Just unscrew the water tray from the flower pot and there’s a small waterproof and dirtproof spot for your nicknacks. There are assorted sizes and colours and you can even use real plants in the pot. US$30.95.