Very Exclusive Gadgets & Gizmos

This OHSO Pocket Toothbrush actually looks far cooler than it really is, but who cares when you can geek out at your next trans-national sleepover Star Trek convention. The paste is stored in the handle (complete with adapters for major brands) and it fits nicely into the space in your breast pocket between the pen protector and mini duct tape dispenser. $19.99.

RevitaLeg is an intermittent pneumatic compression massage device that helps improve circulation in the legs and feet for people who are inactive for long periods of time. RevitaLeg delivers its massaging action by the inflating and deflating of its cuff, which wraps around the calf. The squeezing of the muscles acts as a pump to help improve circulation in the lower leg and foot. Pneumatic compression massage is generally accepted by the medical community as a benefit in improving circulation and reducing swelling caused by edema.

This nondescript looking Cirrus3 box apparently slaughters 99.9999% of ‘pathogenic airborne and surface bacteria and viruses’. The device, which is really just a glorified air filter I guess, is designed for public areas like waiting rooms, lobbies and other places where nasty stuff spreads quickest. It comes in various sizes/capacities and costs from £4000.00 upwards.

This Anti-Itch Insect Bite Tool promises to relieve the nasty symptoms of a bug bite by neutralising the acetic acid via electromagnetics. Does it work? Ask Harry Mosquito who had to give up his day job and return to piece work on the cucumber farm shortly after this device was introduced. Things are hard all over, folks. £4.11.

This hands-free Sensor Soap Pump will keep your hand soap handy and very stylish. The pump has an infra-red sensor to detect your hand and can dispense one of four different volumes of soap. There’s also a continuous dispensing button, presumably to be used for practical jokes. It needs 4 AA batteries, which will last 3 to 12 months and it holds about 400mL (14 fl.oz). It can also dispense hand lotion, but probably not toothpaste. US$39.99

This Back2Life Motion Massager has us wondering just how much humiliation we’re willing to take to keep our lumbars limber? It’s not bad enough we’re collectively scrunching our spinal cords into unfeasibly awkward positions, now we’re expected to act like inverted sea-lions to correct the problem? 12 minutes in the morning and 12 at night? Aghast. $199.95.

Hold the Bioelectric Skin Analyzer up against your face for 2 seconds and you’ll be rewarded – after the beep – with a reading on the LCD detailing the moisture, oil and softness of your skin. Of course you could just run your hand down your cheek and see if it smears but where’s the fun in that? £7.66.

The Cyberbike add-on for the Nintendo Wii is a fully working exercise bike linked to a companion game to provide health and leisure in one funky pack. The product comes with a whole parcel of eco-warrior hokey-pokey too, so not only do you get fit and have fun, but you also get to feel morally superior. The bike can also control other Wii games, if you get fed up with saving the world.

The Bacteria Assassin Ninja Toothbrush Sanitizer is more than a mouthful, it’s a mouthful of superclean toothbrush bristles. Using bacteria kryptonite, UV light, it sterilises your nasty toothbrush just in time for it to be re-infected by your oral flora. Needs 3 AA batteries. US$36.99

Yep, those bacteria are seriously nasty and need to be assassinated. Kill them all with ultra-violet shurikens and katanas with this cute little bathroom ninja. Place your toothbrush in this ninja’s care, and using secret shinobi skills, it kills everything in sight. For once, this is a good thing!

The 321 Water bottle is a water purifier in a bottle. Just add your yucky, nasty tap water into the top, and push the very-stylish plunger down. The water is forced through an activated carbon filter, removing chlorine and nasty flavours and the wholesome water is stored in the bottle ready to drink. The whole thing is designed as an alternative to bottled water and as such the bottle has a screw top and is designed to fit into car cup holders and handbags.